Grief and Loss: How a Psychologist Can Help You Heal

Disclaimer: This article is intended for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing grief or any mental health concerns, please consult a registered psychologist or your GP for personalised support. Grief is one of the most profound human experiences. It can arrive suddenly or build quietly over time, and it rarely looks the same from one person to the next. Whether you have lost someone close to you, experienced a relationship breakdown, received a difficult diagnosis, or faced a significant life change, the weight of that loss can touch every part of your life — your sleep, your work, your relationships, and your sense of self. For many people, grief softens with time and the support of those around them. But for others, it lingers, deepens, or becomes harder to carry alone. If you are living in Richmond or Heidelberg and finding that grief is getting in the way of daily life, you are not alone — and support is closer than you might think. This article is written for teenagers, adults, and anyone supporting a loved one through loss. It covers what grief really is, how it shows up differently across age groups, when it may be time to seek professional support, and how a psychologist can help you move forward at your own pace.

What Is Grief and What Can Trigger It?

Grief is far broader than most people realise. While it is most commonly associated with the death of a loved one, it can be triggered by many different kinds of loss. According to research from the Australian Psychological Society, grief is the natural reaction to loss and can influence the physical, emotional, cognitive, behavioural, and spiritual aspects of our lives. It can arise in response to a wide range of experiences, including:

The death of a loved one, including a pet
Separation, divorce, or the breakdown of a significant relationship
A serious illness or injury — your own or someone else’s
Miscarriage or infertility
Job loss or major career change
A child leaving home
Loss of identity, purpose, or a sense of safety
Moving away from a community or place you called home

What makes grief complex is that it does not follow a predictable path. Some people feel it immediately, while others experience a delayed response weeks or even months later. Some grieve openly; others carry it privately. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no set timeline for how long it should last. Grief can also begin before a loss occurs. When a loved one is facing a terminal illness, for example, the anticipatory grief that follows can be just as intense and disorienting as grief that comes after a death.

How Grief Shows Up Differently in Teenagers and Adults

Grief does not discriminate by age, but it can look and feel very different depending on where someone is in life.

Grief in Teenagers and Adolescents

Adolescence is already a time of significant emotional and identity development, which can make grief particularly complex for young people. Teenagers may not always have the language or emotional tools to express what they are feeling, and their grief may come out in less obvious ways. Common signs of grief in teenagers include:

Withdrawal from family, friends, or activities they previously enjoyed
Increased irritability, anger, or emotional outbursts
A decline in school attendance or academic performance
Risk-taking behaviour or changes in social circles
Difficulty sleeping or changes in appetite
Preoccupation with the person or thing that was lost

It is important for parents and carers to remember that a teenager who seems “fine” on the surface may be suppressing significant distress. Creating a safe, non-pressured space for conversation — without expecting them to open up on demand — can make a real difference.

Grief in Adults

Adults facing grief often carry it alongside significant life responsibilities — work, parenting, relationships, finances — which can make it harder to stop and process. Society can also send unhelpful messages about how quickly adults should “move on” or return to normal functioning. Adults may experience grief as:

Persistent low mood, exhaustion, or emotional numbness
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Withdrawal from relationships or social connections
A sense of purposelessness or loss of identity
Anxiety about the future or about other people they love
Physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or changes in appetite

For adults, unprocessed grief can also compound other mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and burnout — particularly when loss occurs during an already stressful period of life.

When Should You See a Psychologist for Grief?

Many people wonder whether what they are experiencing is “serious enough” to seek professional help. The truth is, there is no threshold you need to reach before support becomes appropriate. A psychologist can be helpful at any stage of grief — not just when things feel unmanageable. That said, there are particular signs that suggest it may be time to reach out:

Your grief is not easing after several weeks or months, and it feels as intense as it did at the beginning
You are finding it difficult to carry out daily tasks, go to work, or care for yourself or others
You have withdrawn significantly from friends, family, or activities that once brought you meaning
You are experiencing persistent sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, or physical health symptoms
You are using alcohol or other substances to cope
Your grief has become entangled with feelings of guilt, shame, or anger that feel impossible to shift
You are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or that you cannot go on

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 (available 24 hours, 7 days a week) or call 000 in an emergency. It is also worth noting the difference between grief and what is sometimes referred to as prolonged or complicated grief. While grief naturally evolves over time for most people, prolonged grief is characterised by an intense and persistent mourning that significantly interferes with daily functioning, sometimes for years. If this resonates with your experience, speaking with a registered psychologist is an important step. Please note: the information above is a general guide only. A diagnosis or clinical assessment should only be made by a registered health professional.

How Can a Psychologist Help With Grief and Loss?

A psychologist does not take grief away — and would not try to. The goal of psychological support is not to hurry healing or minimise the significance of a loss. It is to help you process your experience in a way that feels safe, at a pace that is right for you. At Involved Psychology in Richmond and Heidelberg, counselling psychologist Marie-Claire McCubbery works with teenagers and adults navigating grief and loss using a person-centred, evidence-based approach. Sessions are tailored to the individual, drawing on a range of therapeutic models depending on what is most helpful for each person. Some of the approaches commonly used in grief support include: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) CBT helps identify and gently challenge unhelpful thought patterns that can emerge alongside grief — such as excessive guilt, self-blame, or catastrophic thinking about the future. It provides practical strategies for managing overwhelming emotions and gradually re-engaging with daily life. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) ACT supports people in acknowledging painful feelings without being consumed by them. Rather than fighting grief or pushing it away, ACT helps people make space for it while continuing to move toward what matters most to them. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) When grief is affecting close relationships — such as between partners grieving differently, or between parents and children — EFT can help strengthen emotional bonds and improve communication during a difficult time. Mindfulness-Based Approaches Mindfulness helps people stay present and grounded when grief pulls them toward the past or creates fear about the future. It can reduce emotional overwhelm and support a greater sense of stability. It is important to understand that psychological therapy does not follow a one-size-fits-all formula. Your psychologist will work collaboratively with you to understand your experience and determine what approach best suits your needs and goals. A note on Medicare rebates: If you have a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP, you may be eligible for a Medicare rebate on psychology sessions — currently up to 10 sessions per calendar year. Speak with your GP to find out whether you are eligible and to obtain a referral. You do not need a referral to see a psychologist, but having one may reduce the out-of-pocket cost of your sessions.

Supporting a Teenager Through Grief: A Guide for Parents

If your teenager is grieving, one of the most important things you can do is resist the urge to fix it. Grief cannot be fixed — but it can be witnessed, and that witnessing matters enormously. Here are some practical ways to support a grieving teen: Create space without pressure. Let them know you are available to talk, but do not force conversations. Sometimes sitting together quietly is enough. Watch for behavioural changes. As noted earlier, teenagers may not express grief verbally. Changes in behaviour, mood, sleep, or school engagement can all be signals that they need more support. Normalise grief without minimising it. Avoid phrases like “you need to be strong” or “they would want you to move on.” Instead, try: “It makes complete sense that you are hurting. I am here with you.” Stay connected with their school. Teachers and school counsellors can be valuable allies in monitoring how a young person is coping in the school environment. Seek professional support early. There is no need to wait until things reach a crisis point. A psychologist who works with adolescents, like Marie-Claire McCubbery at Involved Psychology, can offer teenagers a confidential, developmentally appropriate space to process loss — separate from the pressure of family dynamics. Early support can make a meaningful difference in how a young person navigates grief and in their long-term emotional resilience.

You Do Not Have to Carry This Alone

Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a process — one that takes time, support, and often more courage than people give themselves credit for. Reaching out for help is not a sign that you are struggling more than you should be. It is a sign that you understand the value of your own wellbeing. Whether you are an adult navigating loss for the first time, a parent worried about your teenager, or someone whose grief has been sitting quietly for years, support is available locally in Richmond and Heidelberg.